It can be really difficult living with other people
I've never met anyone who can be happy all the time
and familiarity breeds contempt
while absence makes the heart grow fonder
and all the other very true clichés--
and all I want is to be alone most of the time
but just like when I was a little kid
and I hated drying the dishes so much
but I often did it without being asked
just so my mom wouldn't have to do everything alone--
Now I spend my time with the others
maybe not as much as they want
but more than I want--
that sense of obligation and duty pushing me--
but then sometimes when I do too much
and it starts to grate on my nerves
I get shitty and nasty and on edge
"you're always on edge" they tell me
and it's true
it's all a delicate balance:
be there so much that they never miss me
but be away enough that I can stand it
and most of all
I really think I overestimate
how much I'm needed anyway
sometimes.
